I’ve had an usually difficult time with the weather this winter. It seems that I’m always cold, cold at work, cold at home, cold in the streets. I do all I can do to warm myself up. I wear thermals, layers, drink plenty of tea, wear socks to bed, you name it.
Although times are tough, funds are low; I recently took the plunge and went seeking the sun and warmth of Miami Beach for a few days with my two sisters. I was anticipating that feeling of thawing out. Weeks before we left, I regularly checked on the weather. Finally I had to inform my sisters that they should bring along spring clothing because the temps were ranging between 50-70 degrees during the three weeks I was charting the Miami temps.
On February 13th in honor of Valentine’s Day and in hopes of bringing understanding to the love thing, we had a small forum at Khamit Kinks around the idea of “Bringing Back Black Love”. Some times we called it Bringing Black Love Back! Anyway, I’m sure you get the idea. We had Love Dr. Karen Francis, bring her expertise on the matter to the floor. Karen has done a body of research on relationships, self-development and human behavior. She shared many insights and gave us some great advice, and it was obvious a great was had by all.
During this Valentine’s Season I love to encourage my sisters to remember to love themselves, to get involved in fine art of Self Seduction. If you are without a mate at this time, that’s no reason not to celebrate this Valentine’s Day. It is said, that if you don’t love yourself, appreciate and treat yourself well, why should someone else want to? It starts with you! Here are a few of my ideas for celebrating Valentine’s Day, if your “significant other”, hasn’t arrived in your life just yet.
What not to do: Whatever you do, don’t have a pity party! Do not engage in self talk that is defeatist. That’s definitely not the move for putting yourself in the proper frame of mind to attract that soul-mate who is headed your way.
From time to time I’ll have a sleepless night. I used to just lay there stressed about not being able to get back to sleep. That certainly wasn’t the answer for getting back to sleep. Over the years I’ve come across some great remedies listed below.
What not to do: Don’t lie there thinking of a million things, thinking about “problems” and challenges, contemplating the next days events etc, that will not get you back into that lovely land of slumber. On the contrary, as they say in yogic philosophy the “Drunken Monkey” (mind chatter) will take you over and you’ll be on a trip that will last way past sunrise. If you’ve been lying there for over 30 minutes it’s time to get up and take action. I know, you’re tired and sleepy and don’t feel like getting up, but get up. I get up and here are some of the lovely things I do. Don’t do them all in one night, choose one or two of the following techniques per sleepless night.
My weight has fluctuated throughout my adult life. If I was really stressed out, I lost weight and usually received a lot of compliments. Gee, Thanks. And when I was very happy I usually gained a few pounds. But it was mostly manageable. My weight fluctuations were in a 10 pound range and I could easily cut back on something or another that would get me back to my target weight. Fast forward to the approach of my second year in my 5th decade and I have noticed a change. I had always welcomed change, finding it either a fun challenge or exciting. This new change Perimenopause falls into neither of those categories.
For the first time in my life, my clothes are no longer fitting! This is serious! I can get my pants on and with some effort I can zip them, but I can’t button them at the waist unless I relinguish the fine art of breathing. What gives here? I’m doing all the things I used to do, regular aerobic and free weight exercises, yoga, eating “right”, not consuming too many sweets and as usual a minimum amount of alcohol. Despite all that, the pounds keep creeping up.